HARD Parenting Day

Yesterday was a HARD day.  Hard for my heart.  Hard for Ellery.

We've had fevers going around here and mine turned out to be Hand Foot & Mouth.  Yes, adults CAN get it and oh. my. word. it is AWFUL!  Mostly because of the sores in my mouth which makes it VERY difficult to eat almost anything.

The 3 days I was in bed I could see Ellery changing into the girl she was not created to be.  I have been working on her schedule, discipline and heart.  She is so much like her Mamma it's scary.

Anyway, yesterday was my first day "back" and boy did we go toe to toe SEVERAL times.

I have a list of scriptures which speak to some classic moral training issues, such as self control (you can find this here).  While E was in a time-out (which usually doesn't work for her) I cracked open my bible searching for something I can teach her.

Well, instead of finding something for Ellery I was smacked in the middle of my eyes with verses that applied to me.  How many times do you find your own flaws while trying to correct your child?  Ouch.  Ugly...

By the time Cary arrived home I was D-O-N-E.  Not just with parenting but with seeing my own sin as well as hers.  Sometimes it's hard to walk the fine line of when to make something an issue with a child and when to let it slip on by.  I was not letting ANYTHING slip by yesterday.  That resulted in some serious tears, for both of us.

For the first time in a long time I had to hid myself in the corner of my bedroom to just cry it out with God.  Sin is just SO UGLY!  I have it.  Ellery has it.  Walt has it (even at his sweet little age, I can see it).  Even after going to bed, stressed out and SUPER uncomfortable, physically, I tried to not replay the day but it was like I needed to remember.  Remember that the Lord wanted to hold up a mirror (via Ellery) so I can see my own ugliness and to seek His help every. single. day.

Ugh.  Parenting is definitely the HARDEST job I've ever had.  Humbling to say the least.  Oh my heart is so heavy for these children.  I'm super thankful that today went much smoother.  LOTS of love from her.  LOTS of snuggles, hugs but mostly respect.  I was calmer (which really helps) but she was more receptive I could tell.

The sun shines after a storm I guess.